Sometimes goodbye doesn't mean forever.
When we have walked through a complete circle of life,
I'll be with you again.

Welcome to my place of solace.
A quiet domain for my freedom of expression.


"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." ~ T. S. Eliot

And here are the piccies.....









Thankew DD for the additional loving touches *beams*. I'm still fiddling around with the cameras. My true love will be to capture birds =)

Finally had my sleep-over jammy getaway thing with my DD =)) It's been awhile since it has been about just me and him.

View from the sunny Skypark:




No rain for once!

I'm still wondering if the ban on tripods up there will truly make a difference if there's a fight breaking out (we were given that reason by one of the security personnel). Seriously, you could just use a large DSLR and clobber someone with it and it'd do the same amount of damage. *cheeky grin* I just don't understand.....

Caught the fireworks and all from the YOG, with the view from our room. I'll put up my own shots soon when DD is done editing my work ;P

The crowd filling up the arena before YOG started, taken from the room:


The flame is visible there ;P

In the flurry of things:



Oh, grey sky morning....




Two boats moving the fireworks barge away at the lower right hand corner

And I totally heart "Bread, Love and Dreams"! I even convinced DD to watch it with me! *muahahahahaha* Been awhile since I immersed myself in K-Drama so here we go again.

Okay, better get back to work. Toodles!

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, wish right now

An ode to our furry and feathery family.



Farewell to our dear Sugar. =(

She has been ill for sometime now, and the vet didn't give her a very good prognosis in April. She became paralyzed a little while after that while I was away in Aussieland. And every day, we gave her lotsa love and syringe fed her and kept her as comfortable as we could.

Sugar was the surviving piggy of the 3 little ones whom we adopted (Alvis and Spice) and when they came to us, they had horrific burns on the back of their backs and we had to painstakingly nurse them for months before they healed. The skins on their backs were raw and bloodied *shudder*. Thankfully all piggies didn't pass on from their injuries.

*shakes head* I dunno how people can be so disgustingly cruel to pick on defenseless creatures like guinea pigs *hisses and spits*. Sugar never really recovered from those burns. Her skin was always black and flaky. But she definitely learned to trust again..... she used to scramble out of our way, trembling, wheeking in fear of us approaching her and she became a piggy who loved scratches and pets and basked in our attention constantly.

I dunno, I know after I've been "burnt", I will never trust again.

While deeply saddened with her departure for the Bridge *tearing*, I came to terms with it better because I knew we had alot of quality time together while I was looking after her.

She didn't fade away. Just didn't feel like eating that day and I made a bed for her to keep her warm and she left just a little while before 8:00 am when I got up to feed her water around the clock.

I've been striving to work on photography of my pets and the animals in my life, since DD bought me that spanky camera.

Here are some random shots I took of my two old buddies:





Every moment with you guys, all of you have been a blast, whether it's been a long journey we have walked together, or a brief meeting of hearts (see you at the Rainbow Bridge).

And as Jace puts it, "everyday they're here with us is a blessing." Although to loads of people, you guys are just animals and I'm obsessive *rolls eyes*, oh yeah.

But to me, you have kept me grounded, two feet on the ground but head in the clouds, daring to dream; kept me sane when I don't want to believe anymore, reminded me always to honor compassion and unconditional love, and to get my lazy @$$ off the couch and away from the telly.... and to always remember what pure and simple joy feels like.

Sadly, I daresay not many humans inspire all of these in me; more on the contrary. ;P

And oh, the many cool and interesting people I've met, who have touched me with their kindness, because of the animals.....

Our poor bunnies Thumpy, Heffalump, Dazzle and our guest resident Bentley all are still unwell and I pray they'll get well soon. It's been mentally exhausting watching age take a toll on their health. =((

Had to give up my little get-away with DD the other night to be at home with Thumpy as he suddenly crashed and refused to eat. Rabbits can die within 24 hours without food. He gave us quite the scare last month after we had to rush him into emergency surgery and really I didn't have a choice and he's like 7 or more and that's freaking dangerous to go under GA. I had a really hard time struggling with myself.

Here's snippets of the little time when we were there (my poor DD went back there alone *sob*):




P/S Yes I've clothes on. It's the angle okay! ;P

More soon, when I find some inspiration.

I'm too tired to post a proper entry.....


Beat..... *yawns*

So here are two piccies to start and end it.



Me and chicky-girl Cocktail when I got home, bushed today after a whole day of shooting.

Her silly chicken-face never fails to bring a smile. It's my love of birds that really helped me cut chicken out of my diet for good ;P (I learnt a new word - "Pescetarianism" is a term for vegetarians who eat fish). She makes it oh-so easy for me!



Learnt a wonderful lot during this time. While I move away from the temporary glitzy, glam of modeling and shoots and step back into normality and back to the behind-the-scenes work of fashion, being part of this competition has definitely given me a deeper insight and greater inspiration for my work. =)

Time to hit my computer and put my head back to work later today.

This entry is inspired by a question posted to me incessantly by DD: When do you think you will be contented?

I gave it a good thought and concluded the link it really had with a notion posed by JY when we met, summed up: by doing so much, you inadvertently raise the bar and expectations for yourself, making your life harder because more is required of you. The "more" will continue to be the taken-for-granted norm.

A world-renown magician can no longer pull things out of a hat or coins out of people's ears like he once used to, having fun in the streets, startling the everyday people and bringing simple joy. He has to make an entire building disappear or walk on water, to make an impression on this new crowd, who seem to find all his tricks boring.

It's a matter of pulling all kinda impressive things outta a hat and not making a single difference. That leads to discontentment for me. Because it is just not enough. So I just keep striving for higher.

Someday, when this magician is truly sick of juggling balls, she is going to throw them at you and ask you to go find your own jester if you can't see what's in front of you. A rabbit out of a hat is good enough *cuddles rabbit*, I ain't gonna keep pulling an elephant anymore (though it was really fun), and nor any requests for a dinosaur will be entertained. ;P

Someday really soon.

Perhaps as DD has highlighted, at this point, I'm still in the learning process of not giving a flying f**k about things that truly don't matter and only listening to what my heart is saying.

I know I never take these things for granted.

Who cares if it's not enough for you, when it's all so good for me?

I'm getting there.....

My Personality Type: The Good-natured Realist

Good-natured Realists are warm-hearted, helpful personalities. They do their work conscientiously and have a pronounced organising talent. They often feel they are committed to traditional values. The family in particular is extremely important to Good-natured Realists. Their greatest pleasure is making themselves useful and taking care of other people. But they do not like pushing themselves to the fore; they prefer to fulfil their tasks out of the limelight. Good-natured Realists are real workaholics; they are very reliable and nothing is too much for them when it is a question of completing a project. Thoroughness, conscientiousness and sense of duty are their strongest points. They prefer established and familiar situations to new and unknown situations.

In dealing with others, Good-natured Realists are considerate and obliging; they are always happy to put aside their own requirements in the interest of their family and friends. Their home is mostly very well cared-for, cosy and tidy. Their perfectionism on the one hand and their aversion to delegating tasks on the other hand often lead to them taking on too much both professionally and privately. They cannot stand discord; conflicts make them very unhappy. One could almost describe them as being harmony-addicted - and this sometimes leads them to strongly neglecting themselves and their own wishes because they are unable to bring themselves to put up a fight.

Good-natured Realists dream of a stable and trusting relationship for life. Marriage and family are very important to them. They take care of their partner attentively and lovingly and put up with a lot for a harmonious relationship. They are also loyal and reliable friends. However, they can be very hurt if their interpersonal commitment is taken for granted for too long.

Adjectives which describe your type: introverted, practical, emotional, planning, tradition-conscious, good-natured, self-sacrificing, caring, devoted, friendly, loyal, considerate, reliable, conscientious, loving, quiet, reserved, modest, helpful, objective, hard-working, warm-hearted, communicative, painstaking, altruistic

Good-natured Realist: Career

As a Good-natured Realist you are one of the introverted personality types. Consequently, you don’t appreciate too much commotion around you so you can devote yourself to your task with sufficient intensity and concentration. You can work very well alone and while being immersed in a task, you don’t appreciate to be continuously interrupted or disturbed.

Nevertheless, your need for harmony and your adaptability make you a good team worker if necessary. Therefore, you are relatively flexible when choosing your working environment, and have the ability to decide which setting you prefer. A profession that gives you the feeling that you are doing something for other people is important to you. Good-natured Realists are very caring people and enjoy taking care of others. Despite your in-troverted personality and because you are a feeler-type, it is easy for you to put yourself in the place of others and sense their needs.

You are most comfortable in a one-on-one situation; you are less enthusiastic about delivering speeches to major groups. At any rate, when choosing your profession, make sure to surround yourself with people who share your personal ideals and convictions, and on whom you can count to work with you. Too many obstacles to your caring for and supporting others make you unhappy.

For you, it is important to depend on a clear and structured workflow. You need time to prepare yourself for new demands, possibly acquire new competencies, and finish one task after the other. As a matter of fact, you are less opposed to routine work than many other personality types. To a certain extent, you don’t mind dealing with them. In your workday, some diversions should naturally be available, but juggling three balls at the same time isn’t something you enjoy doing because you would be concerned that the quality of your work would suffer. That would be a nightmare for your perfectionist expectations of yourself and your accomplishments.

Thoroughness and accuracy are some of your great strengths. While other people stand in perplexity before that which you have accomplished, you see room for improvement in everything you have ever done. In your professional life, time-sensitive projects are especially helpful to you because you would be trying to improve rather unimportant details of a project until doomsday.

Good-natured Realist: Love

Good-natured Realists like you rarely fall in love head over heels. You approach a new relationship very carefully and guardedly. That has to do with the fact that you are one of the introverted Realists who don’t carry their heart on their sleeve, and you need a little time to warm up. Additionally, you have expectations of what you are looking for, and what you need in matters of love. Before you give your heart away, you want to be sure that your counterpart is the right one. In most cases, that protects you from disappointments - and that is good because deep inside, you have a very vulnerable core that does not easily get over genuine lovesickness. However, you permit yourself to get totally involved once you are convinced that your chosen person is worthy of your love.

It is the main purpose of your life to care for others. There is nothing that makes you happier than to look after and take care of your partner. It is an easy equation for you: If he/she is happy, you are happy. You have a very loving, warmhearted, and generous nature that sees to it that your partner simply feels comfortable and in the best sense in good hands and secure with you. You may not be a person of many words but that is not even necessary. Just because you don’t continuously reaffirm it, whoever is with you will be showered with devotion, care, and attention to the point that he/she won’t doubt your love.

With your fine intuition for your partner’s wishes, how he/she feels, or what he/she happens to need at the moment even before he/she does, nothing brings you greater joy than to make sure that your partner gets it right away (and probably some extra icing on the cake he/she could not have imagined). Hardly any other type engages him/herself as intensely for his/her sweetheart as you do. That almost borders on a willingness to sacrifice. And this also works in matters of sexuality. You’re so intent on figuring out what your partner enjoys, and how you can best make him/her happy, that you often forget that you are supposed to have some fun yourself. When you happen to have a headache, it is suspected that you rarely manage to say “no,” correct?

Good-natured Realist: Happiness

The iPersonic personality system can substantially contribute to a fulfilling career and a satisfying relationship. But it can do much more. With iPersonic, you have the key to substantially improving your happiness level practically in reach. Now it all depends on identifying and acting on the characteristics of your personality type to bring about important and appropriate thought and behavioral changes. Since we all begin from different positions, it should be obvious that different strategies apply to each one of us. That is exactly the purpose of your personal iPersonic Life Coach eBook.

Happiness counselors dealing with these subjects and providing well-meaning advice for the masses are already a-dime-a-dozen. The problem is that—all too frequently—the recipient will only be able to apply a small portion of the offered wisdom for practical applications in his/her everyday life. After all, consultants must address as large an audience as possible and that is naturally at the expense of the individual. On the subject of happiness and life-shaping, the individual personality type is crucial for which “happiness strategies” are suitable and successful, and which are not.

A simple example: It has been proven that regular exercise and athletic activities are just as effective against depression as are the best presently available anti- depression drugs. Accordingly, the advice by all happiness counselors is: “Do you exercise regularly?” Why are so few people successful in permanently integrating the happiness promoting effects of regular physical activities into their every day life? Simple enough—because they don’t know their personal traits and prerequisites well enough, and therefore frequently attempt to be physically active against instead of in concert with their nature! Sooner or later failure is pre-ordained. The same also applies to many other happiness research findings. This is why we developed an iPersonic eBook that focuses on your very personal happiness strategy.

Poster courtesy of William.

It has truly been a blur.

The longer you want to stay in the moment, the quicker it all returns to mundane reality.

The last I felt the same, was the wedding, and then before that CGS and the happier times then.

Thank you Watsons for the awesome dinner and prize presentation. It has been an experience of a lifetime and I'm truly honored to be there. Still quite a shocker to me =)

Some sneak pics (the rest are in the other cam and each file is mega huge):


Rehearsal time with the lovely Chun!


Cam-whoring time ;P Bugged the staff to help us with pics *oops*

(From L - R) Dylan, Xiuling, Linette, Aiqin, Chun, Joan, Me, Natasha & William


The stage as our backdrop


A photo of us in front of the Blackjack table haha



It was boiling hot and we all sweated like hogs coz the air-conditioning was off when we got there at 3:00 pm. Escaped to Great World City to cool off until 6:30 pm ;P Walking there was hilarious as we all got funny gazes and looks because of our attire. Especially when we're mostly in all black, with black leggings ;P

Got through the dance routine alright although if you watch the vid I'm posting soon, you'd notice I'm waving the wrong way hahahahaha ;P *rofl*

Don't I wish I can look like this every time I'm out the door *wahahaha*:



Clearing up the crap loads of clothing from my wardrobe and our over-stuffed room has been quite the bi@tch *mutter*. Because of the dust, I'm now flu-ey *whine*. Perhaps when I've enough room, I shall be able to stuff a make-up artist in there. =P

Better a late bloomer, than always a wallflower.

I'm really thankful for the odd and wonderful opportunities that come my way. A certain wise one said that I will continue to learn in these processes and there are always new things I have encountered that will add to my Life's experiences.

How true. *beams*


Me and my bestie!



Thanks for the memories....

Okie, I'm out. Need to rest my flu-ey head =((

*sends a giant heartfelt thank you to everyone who have showered me with their support, love and blessings and for the daily votes. *big hugs* I'm so blessed to have you in my life. Thank you for making it happen!*

'Cuse the lack of updates again. My days are flying by. It's been a total blur.

To sum it up, after I crashed to the bottom, I was again brought back up on a whoosh. It's been a giddy, blurry roller-coaster ride. Between being depressed over the loss of our dear Tweety, stressing over sending poor Thumpy for an emergency surgery on his bladder and being an old rabbit, GA is really scary.....then to finding out my dear aunt is also having a surgery done *omg* and then finding out I won the contest after chewing out my nails and then also having to cancel our trip to Aussieland Syd very last minute, because of the photo shoot that follows, hearing snippets of unexpected bad news here and there and oh, having my damn store hacked *die bast@rd die, whoever you are, you piece of @#%@!@#!@!@!@#!* .....

*dizzy*

It's all quite testing on my mind's {in}sane/emotional state, my blood pressure and my heart. I'm actually feeling very drained and lethargic. Dragging my feet about but trying to shake it off with a pretend perkiness, to keep with the image and not garner concerned queries. Because theoretically, yes theoretically, I should be over-the-moon, heels-clicking kinda happy.

But I'm oh so tired.

So you must pardon me if I can't find it within myself to sort out the flyaway thoughts and put them down here in a structured, comprehensible manner.

My old bones are aching from two rehearsals on Friday and yesterday.

Here's the happy bunch after last night's session with our very cute, uber fun and bubbly dance instructor Chun:





My fave shot of all of us from the various categories

I'd avoid putting up the rehearsal vid *muahahahha I was a total dork yesterday* and will put up the actual day one on Thursday, when we perform at the Gala and when our actual presentation will be. The theme will be Shanghai Chic so *rofl*, you can guess the music we're dancing to is pretty, erms, "ching chong" *muahahaha*.

(Is it considered a racist slur if you're using it on your ethnicity? Anyone? ;P )

William, winner of the Friendly Face award has kindly posted this really cute poster of all of us on his blog.

I wish I live in these moments, always happy times like these:




DD and me @ Marina Bay Sands


My precioussss - my biggest fans and bestest friends

Happy, happy birfday (in a few more days but knowing me I won't make it to blog again) to my long-time friend Xavier:



Okie, I gotta split.... time to feed the hungry, rabbity mouths.

Be back with more and more photos that are stock-piling in my camera, collecting dust.

And yes, as I made the promise to myself if I really did become the winner of my category - a big part of the prize money is going to two animal charities/shelters =) *big beams* coz they need it more than I do and I really want to pass the goodness on..... and whatever remains will go towards the gorgeous people I call loved ones.

What goes around, comes around!

We bade goodbye this morning to Tweety, our splay legged Lovebird, who left us suddenly, without a sign.

She left a gaping wound in my empty heart and there's a void no one can fill.

The silence without her happy chirps and feisty shrieks is deafening.

- speechless -

I'm just having one helluva bad day, bad news and more crappy news and all.

I'm in total shock.

I can't be consoled.